PO-TAY-TO

So there is this guy, right? And he has this gun. It wasn't a normal gun, like the kind that shot bullets, you know? It was a PEW PEW LAZER GUNS. That means it, like, shot lasers, not bullets. You with me so far? Anyway, this guy really really liked potato soup. I mean really liked it. But he couldn't ever have it because of the Potato Revolution of 1983. That was when all the potatoes declared they were going to live under communist rule and moved into northern Canada in order to properly oppress the polar bears and pine trees. Obviously this was not okay with the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT, and they barred all references to potatoes on the internet. Anyway, this guy totally loved potato soup, right? But he couldn't ever have it, because of the government. So he took that gun, remember that gun? The one that shot light instead of bullets? Anyway, he took that gun and he shot himself in the face.

Don't do drugs kids!